Tip of the day - funny

Out-Of-Office auto replies

Best! "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies :-D

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared or my mood.

2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message. I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.

10: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

11: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

12: I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:
13: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.

Software Engineer - daily routine

An interesting email I received today. Just read and verify yourself :-)

8:30AM: wake up
8:45AM: Tough decision ; To bath or not.
8:50AM: Have To.
9:15AM: Punch in.
9:20AM: Check Mail.
9:25AM: Check Again just in case...
9:30AM: Since It is already
9:30 wait for tea(9:45AM).
9:45AM: TEA party.
10:00AM: Check Mail.
10:05AM: Check again. can't Believe that no mail has come. Is every body dead or what ?
10:20AM: Sudden feeling of loneliness and desperation turn around to look for some body (Any body) to talk to.
10:30AM: Found a guy testing something. Feel real pity for his pathetic, boring and useless existence.
10:40AM: Sudden urge to get some work done and fast. Start looking for the file.(Can't remember it's name)
11:00AM: Boss summons in his office. Bad sign.
11:30AM: How the hell ! am I suppose to remember everything. Why should I be responsible for everything that goes bad.
11:45AM: Try to locate a scapegoat. No body around.
12:00AM: Mood is really bad decide to postpone work till after lunch.
12:30AM: lunch
1:00PM: Lunch over.
1:10PM: Go for a smoke. Can't even smoke in this god forsaken place.
1:35PM: Back from a smoke. It was good. I even did not pay for the cig. the other chap is so foolish.
1:50PM: Mood is good. Decide to go to cool web sites. Real sleazy thoughts.
2:30PM: Feeling real sleepy after such a mammoth mental effort.
2:45PM: Tea Time.
3:00PM: Chat and discuss with colleague on the bad state of the company. Blame everybody for incompetence and laziness.
4:00PM: A guy from testing comes for help.(Jerk)
4:11PM: Try to look busy.
4:12PM: He is asking for a technical help.(Real jerk).
4:15PM: After really making him beg for help decide to take a look.
4:50PM: No solution found. really angry on the guy for getting myself involved.
4:55PM: Suddenly boss is spotted in the neighbouring area. Try make as much loud noise as possible with some obscure technical jargon thrown in.
5:00PM: Boss has gone back to his den. Coast is clear.
5:05PM: Blame the problem on RnD.
5:10PM: Check mail. "Yes" a mail has finally arrived.
5:13PM: It's a silly joke and old too. But it felt good.
5:14PM: a quick dash for gate.
5:15PM: Third in punching out.
5:25PM: Reached Room.
5:26PM: TV on. No worth while program.
8:30PM: Still no worth while program. Every body is getting lazy and irresponsible what will happen to this world GOD help us. Cursegovernment and RnD.
8:45PM: Food arrives. Pretty bad and stinking.
8:48PM: Dinner finished.
12:45AM: Today there were really good programs.
12:46AM: Decide to sleep. Tough day ahead.

Howz that?

Bill Gates knighted by Queen

Microsoft founder Bill Gates was knighted last night in a private ceremony with the Queen of England.

Even though there are sarcasm, humor, outrage and some pretty off the wall statements about this event, I find it as a good event because Gates contributed so much to the IT world. He is one of the greatest persons who looked at the computer in many different ways.

A snap I got from the internet is here.

Inside Google

Read an interesting article which talks about the inside view of Google, the searh engine giant. I list some very nice excerpts here.

To cope with outages of a variable nature, Google built the Google File System, which was closely geared to Google's search computing tasks and had a high tolerance for server failures.

Google operations are built around large files that are broken down into 64-Mbyte chunks and scattered across multiple "chunk servers." A description of each file, its number of chunks, and chunk locations are kept on a master server. Each 64-Mbyte chunk is also replicated on two other servers, so a total of three copies are kept with the path to each retained by the master server.

In addition, as Google servers parse queries, they break them down into smaller tasks and make one trip to the database for a result that may satisfy many users. The process is called "map reduction".

Full article can be view at InformationWeek.

Online Address Book

An online address book is normally a feature of web mail providers. But, we are not sure that the details in it are up-todate unless the contact him/her self keeps it updated. So, we may like to have an address book which can be updated by the contact whenever a change occurs.

Today I got to know about an interesting online address book maintaining site. Its www.bebo.com.

People can sign up for an account only with the name, a valid email address (check is performed for validity) and the date of birth.

Once you become a member, you can send invitations to all your current contacts to enter their details into your address book. Then an email is sent to the inviter asking for confirmation to add the details into the address book.

A nice feature here is, the contact details in our address is also get updated when the conatct modifies his/her detals in their own account. (This is possible only when the other party has approved the details to be shared)

We enter so many email addresses. How about the spammers? Will they in the back of this web site?
Their privacy policy says that 'We will not give out any information without your knowledge'. As a user of Bebo.com, I didn't get any spams until now.

You can also maintain an online address book and access it anywhere, anytime.